Running Saved Our Lives

Running literally saved my life this month. 

We have all been told that life can change in an instant.  Honestly, I never thought that it applied to me. I have walked through life with a bubble of invincibility, believing that somehow nothing bad would ever happen to me.  Turns out the joke was on me. Doing our normal morning run, Heather and I headed out for a 50-minute easy run – I know, I don’t know why I keep running her marathon training program but am glad I did on this day.  On our way back from this non-descript training run, my watch buzzed at 0551– a notification from a hummingbird feeder was weird, they were never up that early.  A cop racing back and forth on the main road was even more strange.  Most shocking of all, Heather said ‘Oh my God, Shallowbag Bay Condos are on fire.”  I said, “that is not just our complex, that is our building.”  We raced back arriving right behind the first policeman on scene. It was chaos, people running around, trying to find out if everyone made it out.  Realizing we had not left the back door open for our cat Smokey, my heart sank as I realized that due to the intensity of the fire, he was not going to make it.  Then the realization that the fire department was not there yet, and we were going to not just lose our condo, but lose our cat, our home, and everything we owned set in.  It was excruciating waiting for the first streams of water to start making a difference.  Too late for us though. Imagine leaving for a run and coming back to the realization that the only thing you own is what you are wearing. We were alive though and looking at where the fire started, right above our bedroom area in the condo above us, I realized we likely would not have made it.  Running literally saved our lives – I won’t ever complain about Heather dragging me out of bed each day long before the sun is up ever again.

I am now reflecting as it has been a month since that terrible day.  Rebuilding has been tough; the ups and downs, the overwhelming nature of the loss, the sense of failing to take care of a pet who relied on you for everything, knowing the condo was my  great idea and Heather lost everything to follow me there, the loss of invincibility or really the crushing sense of vulnerability, fear of things that never bothered me, watching Heather have to live through tragedy again – these all pop up when you least expect it.  Every day you wake up and wait for someone or something to save you, and then you realize that the only person who can save you is yourself. As lifelong endurance athletes we are resilient and capable of withstanding the toughest blows, but this goes well beyond that. All we can do is chip away at things, gradually building back.  The uncertainty of what is next is a tough thing to deal with but by solving daily tasks and making uneven progress we keep moving forward.  Much like the sport that we love – make progress no matter what.  Mile by mile, aid station to aid station, we are uniquely able to grab onto this mindset but unlike most endurance events there is no known finish line, it is simply to become normal again or to take whatever message this is meant to give us.

We have been blessed by several things.  A small community, Manteo has proven to be exceptionally supportive, as have all our friends in the Outer Banks and beyond.  Friends, USMC colleagues, runner friends, college friends, family, friends of family, random people we did not even know, our gym at RIFL, local churches, local organizations, and so many others.  The list is a long one and I know there is no way for us to ever thank everyone personally, there are just too many of you.  THANK YOU – THANK YOU ALL!  The best we can do is earn it and rebuild our lives in the vision that we had before the fire…and to be better to others. I am so overwhelmed by this situation but more so by the generosity of others.  It has made me realize that I should have done better in my life by helping others more often and more impactfully.  As one who never asks anyone for help and believes strongly in self-reliance, this is humbling beyond belief, but we are equally grateful as we could not have made it without the help of others.   As I said in the beginning, running saved our lives. We will keep pushing forward with your collective support and love. This all reminds us to never take a day for granted.  Don’t give up when unfathomable things happen, keep searching for the positive, and keep going.  Running and adventure sports have meant so much to us, we are now trying to maintain some level of consistency, though motivation can be an issue.  Realizing it saved our lives that early morning on March 4^th but also knowing how unimportant races and events are in comparison to what we are experiencing.  But also realizing that the road to normalcy is paved with doing what we always did.  So yes, we will get up everyday at 4 am to run and keep moving forward.